old but still naive

I’ve been through a lot in my life. I didn’t think I was naïve, I feel I have common sense, I have an education, and I have a little bit of street smarts. But there are days when I realize I am naïve because I still believe that people should treat others the way they want to be treated, that giving to others should be from the heart, and you don’t have to hurt others to get ahead in life.

I’m not young, I’m not old, I’m not even middle-aged. I guess I’m lost somewhere in between because I’m nowhere near my twenties but I’m not knocking on 50 yet either. But, I’m old enough to have experienced a few things in life. I’ve survived some serious battles. Yet, my heart still hurts and I’m still blindsided when someone does their best to sabotage me.

I don’t understand people who purposely want to hurt someone. People who put energy into trying to tear someone down. But, there are so many people who do that. People who want to step on others to build themselves up. It’s such a disgusting trait to have. These types of people make me sick.

I am a strong person. Stronger than many. But even I have a breaking point. I don’t want to believe that wanting to see the good in people is a bad thing. I don’t want to believe that not wanting to tear someone down makes me naïve. I still want to believe that hard work, doing the right thing, and being a good person will get you somewhere in life. Well, I will believe that. Because I will work hard. I will do the right thing. I won’t hurt someone just so I can get ahead. Because I believe that I will get where I deserve to be…where God wants me to be.

So, if I’m old and naïve, then so be it. I know what’s in my heart. I know that I give a more than many, and I do it because it feels good to help others not because I’m keeping score or because of what someone will do for me. I know I’ll continue to be blindsided. I will continue to deal with despicable people who want to sabotage me for the mere reason that they can’t see someone else succeed. I will pray for them and I will pray for myself. I will pray that I don’t ever feel the need to turn into that type of disgusting person.

God bless, and be blessed.

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