a women’s first experience

A woman’s first sexual experience will set the course for her. Good, bad, great, ugly – it sets the path.

Think of the young girl, 13 and looking at life with wide eyes of innocence and hope, who’s path is set by a coerced and fearful first time. She was a at a wedding with family friends, and late in the night she becomes separated from her group. She ends up at a house with their relatives, but they are strangers to her.

She calls her mom to stay the night because its so late and her mom says no to get home right now. So she asks for a ride and they are too drunk to drive. So she makes the scary decision to walk home at 2am across town about 15 miles. She knows she has to get home and that’s the only way she sees.

Then a friend of the relatives offers to give her a ride and she gratefully accepts. She’s 13, she just needs to get home because her mom is mad. So they go to leave, he – the relatives’ friend – drives her around then parks on a side street. He tells her that he doesn’t have the gas money to bring her home and because he has wasted gas she has to pay him. The girl has no money so he tells her to get into the back seat. She tells him no, she tells him she’s a virgin over and over again. But that doesn’t matter. And so her path is set. And she ends of walking home anyway, bleeding, sore, and heartbroken.

Fast forward to adulthood. The young woman thinks back to when she is a young girl. She realizes that sex is a physical act nothing like the fairy tale of rose petals and gentleness and love. It’s a physical act where you can close your eyes and think about anything but what’s happening. It’s a means to release stress. It’s a means to an end. It’s not an emotional experience. And so she never connects on an emotional level of intimacy. Not even when she loves the man. The act remains physical, a physical connection to be enjoyed by the body.

The path is set. No matter the years of counseling, the books read, the love showered on her. The act is physical because the path is set.

God bless, and be blessed.

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