collateral damage of breakups

There is collateral damage when a couple breaks up. The relationships that are built, that have branched off from that couple, also feel the pain of the breakup. The children that are involved feel the pain. The children are the collateral damage because they don’t have a choice in the relationship.

A couple in a long-term relationship, each with children, eventually introduce the children to each other’s extended families. Grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, etc. bond with the children. And then the couple breaks up. And these “family members” disappear. And the children, who have no say, feel the pain. But the family members feel pain too.

Love is love. And the love for a child is a special type of emotion.

Breakups are hard on everyone. It’s harder when people give in to raw emotion and react to their own pain and forget about the pain of others. Many people become invested in a couple’s relationship. And the breakup brings sadness all around.

I know because I feel that sadness now. A couple I am close to are breaking up and their child is like a daughter to me. I love that little girl so much and unfortunately she and I are the collateral damage of this breakup. Mom is cutting ties with everyone who was the husband’s friend first. Sad that it has to be this way because the child will lose extended family for no good reason.

As an adult I may not agree but I understand what is going on. The child is 4. She won’t understand. And it breaks my heart.

So I’ll pray that she will know how much she is loved and hope for the best.

God bless, and be blessed.


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