I’m not in the business of intentionally hurting anyone. It’s not something I get pleasure from. But I recently hurt a friend. Not intentionally by any means. Not because I wanted to. Not for any reason or intent at all.
I wrote my thoughts, no identifying information at all, simply my thoughts and feelings. But the rawness of my thoughts and the rawness of the friend’s current situation created hurt feelings. I believe both of us could say we are justified in how we feel, both have valid points, both are in the right – or the wrong, considering perspective – but that’s irrelevant when you are considering a friendship.
Friends, real friends, go through ups and downs. Real friends go through pauses where the friendship is not necessarily placed on hold but is not at the forefront of our lives.
Once the hurt feelings are pointed out one must revisit that friendship. Evaluate our own feelings and do we want the friendship to continue. You can’t ignore hurt feelings. They must be acknowledged.
I’ve said before we must look at the people who come into our lives and try to recognize if they are here for a season or a lifetime. I believe there is a reason for everything.
I didn’t mean to hurt my friend’s feelings. I apologized for hurting her. I don’t apologize for my own feelings. I own that. But now we have a decision to make. Do we let the friendship take its natural course and resume? How exactly do we do that? Do we try to pick up where we left off?
I don’t make a practice of pretending something didn’t happen. It is what it is. If hurt feelings will hang over the friendship like a thick fog then the friendship has turned into something less.
I am revisiting this friendship. She’s a wonderful person. I’m in her corner. I believe this is a friendship of a lifetime. We just have to figure out where to unpause.
God bless and be blessed.