Not every person, even those you are close with, wants you to succeed. Not every person has your best interest at heart. Not every person wants to see you shine.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe every person wants everyone else to fail. But, from experience I’ve seen many say they want you to succeed…but only so much that you don’t outshine them.
It’s like you take something away from them if you do well. Ridiculous and kind of pathetic but that’s the world we live in.
I was speaking with a former co-worker from many years ago and they mentioned someone who we both looked up to as a mentor. A “Christian”. someone who talked about doing good for others, supporting others, giving love, etc. And I remembered one specific incident where I asked for her opinion and she didn’t hesitate to bring me down, to tell me that I would fail – her words “If I were you I wouldn’t do it because you will fail”.
I had just finished chemotherapy a couple weeks before I was scheduled to test for an important professional certification. To be honest I had not opened one book to study and the study system consists of 5 books, and on the first page of book 1 there is an ‘encouraging’ message that states over 60% of first time test takers fail and over 40% of second time test takers fail. So I was going into this discouraged and for her, this person that I looked to as a professional, a mentor, and a friend to tell me to skip the test because I would fail did not lift my spirits.
I decided to study as much as I could between Friday night and Monday morning and take my chances. The test was non-refundable and as the book said, the majority of first time test takers fail anyway. I figured I would take the test, get my results and see what areas I needed to concentrate on for the next few months and then retake the test.
So I get to the testing center and I’m stressed. Then the monitor tells me that I had to remove my headscarf. I explained to her that I had just finished chemo and the scarf was because I lost all of my hair, but rules are rules so I took the scarf off and sat in the room uncomfortable, stressed, sad. And I prayed. I prayed for calm, for strength, for the ability to do well on this very important test. And I prayed for resilience and to be okay whatever the results.
I took the test and I passed. I was so stressed out that when I say CONGRATULATIONS pop up on my screen I did not process it. The monitor came to me and whispered congratulations. When I checked out she said it again. I asked her if I had really passed and she laughed and told me that I had done an exceptional job and that I should be proud. I walked out of that room with the biggest smile. And then I called my husband and best friend and I cried from relief.
I texted my “mentor” and told her that I had passed. And then went to work the next day. She told me congratulations and everyone in our department signed a card. It was nice and I appreciated the gesture. Then later that day she shared with me that she was happy for me but she had wished I would have waited to take the test because one of my co-workers had taken the test the month before and failed and she had been trying to encourage her because she herself didn’t pass until the 3rd time. So she asked me to not show my excitement because they had talked and they were sure that I would have failed so they weren’t mentally prepared to celebrate my passing – so basically they wanted me to pretend I hadn’t just accomplished something amazing. Never mind that the odds had been stacked against me. Never mind that they had seen how hard chemo had been on me, how I had been left so weak that many days I laid on the floor in my office (door closed of course)for hours and worked because I couldn’t sit up without vomiting. Never mind that I was everyone else’s cheerleader.
So, as you can see I have experience with someone not wanting me to succeed. And it was disappointing to deal with. But I am so happy that I didn’t follow her advise and I stuck to my plan. I am happy that I found success in spite of the obstacles in my path. I am happy that God gave me the strength to be myself.
Don’t allow someone else’s failure to become yours. Believe in yourself always.
God bless, and be blessed.