I don’t cry

You disappoint me. Make plans then a last minute cancellation. It doesn’t hurt me. I expected it. I was already prepared. So I don’t cry.

Not when you can see me. Not when you can hear me. I don’t cry….in front of anyone. I cry alone. On the drive to work, I wipe my tears. In the shower, the tears mixed with steaming hot water. Outside, as I walk away from everyone. I don’t cry…not in front of you.

I can’t say my heart is broken. I think it was broken so long ago and never put back together. So, no, my heart isn’t broken. It’s not healed enough to break. So I don’t cry.

I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s happened so often it’s now a routine. So I don’t cry.

What’s crazy is that I don’t reach out for me. I reach out for you. So you don’t feel alone. So you don’t feel unloved. So you don’t feel disappointed. I feel like I have to do my part so I continue to reach out. And you continue the routine. So I don’t cry.

It’s the expectation now. It’s how you are. I know that. Maybe you don’t. Because you still play victim, when I don’t cry. Your feelings are hurt, when I speak my mind. You are allowed, but no one else is. It’s the routine. So I don’t cry.

God bless, and be blessed.

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